Of Popes and Pets
In early January, Pope Francis (the patron saint of animals) said that choosing to have a pet over having children was selfish. Obviously, the Supreme Pontiff has never felt the devotion to a cat wrapped in a favorite towel you forget at the Vets once the fatal shot had taken effect. After the assistant had gently wrapped your arms around the lifeless body of a cat named Pie.
The ruler of the Holy See has never loved the barking of a dog. A dog that can no longer hear and whose bark pierces your eardrums but that you love because she’s saying, “I’m here!”
Stella’s eyes are shot and shadows wake her but I put a pillow near the window to block the light. I try not to wake my 17-year old companion during the day when I’m deep in work so I eat cold food and nothing that might create food smells because scent is the last sense to go in a dog. But it doesn’t work, she barks and, instead of being mad that she has interrupted my workflow I am delighted and hug her and take her down off the bed to wander or get a drink of water because even she doesn’t know what she wants.
The Pope’s remarks reminded me of a funeral service I attended about 15 years ago. The Catholic Priest meandered into uncharted territory when he started to talk about the Stages of Life. “Life begins at birth.” He faltered then backtracked realizing he’d gotten the message all wrong. “Wait. No,” he said. “Life begins at conception.” I turned to my partner. We smiled. The priest had failed to remember the message in the memo. The one that rewrote the Stages of Life. Clearly this old Priest had been tested and had come up wanting. We were mourning a life, not celebrating a birth. He had messed up the new order. The one that wanted to jump on the bandwagon of “pro-life.”
The Pope’s “have kids not pets” message had the same tin ear feel. The same talking points memo about it. As if he’d suddenly been told that no one is coming to an antiquated church that doesn’t resonate with people younger than 80. That doesn’t believe that #lovewins or that women are equal to men. A church that sacrificed the lives of children to protect their own. That seems to have just woken up and realized that there devoted parishioner were dying off. That the Mormons had it all over the Catholics for having children with the promise of planets in the afterlife. Beat that Catholics!
A pet is a perpetual child. It will always need you and will never leave home. A Boppo will forever be two years old. A Tiger will stretch its paws and kneed your chest until there is no more you to love.
What Pope Francis needs is a nice puppy to comfort him and bring him joy. To remind His Holiness of God’s great imagination and love.